1 year of cuckold dating – what I’ve learned so far

    It’s been almost a year since the launch of Venus Connections – and what a year it has been! Venus Connections is so unique and I think it is the only service of its kind in the world! It’s private matchmaking for singles who are looking for loving cuckolding relationships and it members do a three week educational program and private interview with me. No one knows who else is in the program as the matching is done by me and there are no scrolling through member profiles. Your information is always kept private for my use only. All of the dates are blind dates – something I think makes it more fun – you actually have to get to know each other by talking, something that’s often missing with online dating.

    Venus Connections has gained a lot of media attention. It’s been featured in a webinar for sexual health professionals through the SHA, on Dan Savage’s Savage LoveCast podcast, the Wanderlust Swingers podcast, and Dr. Justin Lehmiller’s Sex and Psychology podcast. It was also featured in Psychology Today Magazine. I’ve also interviewed some members for The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast and had discussions on The MON App.

    My biggest concern when I started it was the gender imbalance. The research has shown that over half of men in the US fantasize about cuckolding (and often!), while only about a third of women do (and much less often). So it’s no secret that there are WAY more men interested in this kind of relationship than women, and while I think there will always be an imbalance like that, I’ve been surprised with how many women have shown interest in the program. What’s been most surprising is that most of the women have no experience with a cuckolding relationship – they just feel like it would suit who they are. Very few women develop an interest in cuckolding from porn, whereas the majority of men develop an interest in cuckolding directly from watching porn. Women very much look at cuckolding through the lens of a relationship whereas men tend to view it through the lens of sexual fantasy.

    This has made for some unique challenges. Men tend to already have a long list of cuck dynamics that they want and they know what they don’t want and they assume that the women do too. The women though, most do not have that list because they don’t have the experience/time it takes to find out what they like and what they don’t like. This is important because men can often overwhelm the women with their “wants” and men need to understand that it’s not very realistic to find a single woman who is curated and designed just like what they see in porn. Finding a Queen of Spades or a woman who is into full sexual denial right off the bat is just not likely. Being open to where she is right now and being open to what you may create together is essential.

    Basically men need to meet her where she is at and understand the creative process of dating, falling in love, and creating a life together….whatever that may look like. Focusing on relationship building and shelving the cuckolding until much later is ESSENTIAL. Failing to do so will likely result in the relationship stalling, derailing, and failing. In the Venus Connections program we advise our members to not discuss cuckolding in the dates, and instead focus on getting to know the person – relationship-building basics!

    I’ve learned that the number one fear of men is being used or extorted for money by women with ulterior motives. The number one fear/annoyance for the women is men who seem interested but then ghost/disappear (this happens SOOOO often!). Women are also very concerned about their safety. The program has been wonderful at weeding out the many men (and some women) who are not serious, and this has been great because the members in the program can assume that the other person is safe and reliable.

    There are strict rules and expectations that I have for both male and female members. I remove about 20% of male members early on because they no-show for their interview with me (chronic fear-based behavior from single men in this lifestyle). Findom, using men for money, or gift-seeking is absolutely not allowed in the program. Members are expected to put in maximum effort and creativity when having a date. That means being exactly on time and ready, dressing on point, engaging with enthusiasm and interest, and putting in the effort to make your best first impression.

    There have been hundreds of dates in the program (all blind dates and nearly all virtual dates) and many budding relationships as a result. Not all members have had dates though, and not all members will, as matches simply are not guaranteed. I’ve found that the more you have to offer outside of cuckolding interests, the easier it is to match you. Age, location, profession/income, height, body type, ethnicity, and personality all play big factors in matching – just as they do in regular dating!

    Regardless though, unlike regular vanilla dating platforms, there are not thousands of people to choose from with cuckold dating. This is a niche interest and therefore significantly limits your options. It sucks but that’s just the way it is. The pool of candidates is just not as large as match.com or Tinder and you have to have realistic expectations. Finding love is hard enough, but finding love with someone who lines up with your kink interests makes it even harder. But if you are one of the lucky ones – it feels like winning the lottery!

    I’ve spent 7 years trying to reach women to show them that this kind of relationship is simply amazing and could be everything they’ve ever dreamed of but it hasn’t been easy. My voice is quiet in comparison to the very loud heavily fetishized porn-frenzied degradation scripted voices/descriptions out there. But it’s important that women learn about this in the lens of a loving relationship so they might actually consider it as a valid relationship option. What would be really helpful is if more people would echo this message and share it far and wide. The more you keep this in the closet, the less likely it is that women will learn about this and the fewer options you will have when dating! So for all of the frustrated single men out there who wonder why there are so few single women who want this, it’s time to start doing something about it. You can start by sharing this page for women who want to learn about what this kind of relationship is really like – –https://venusconnections.com/what-women-need-to-know/

    We all have a role to play in elevating this kind of relationship to the level it deserves. I can’t do it without you.

    The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast
    Venus Connections Matchmaking