This article was originally published in ASN Lifestyle Magazine
Cuckolding is hotter today than ever. It might surprise you that a recent survey conducted by Dr. Justin Lehmiller revealed 58% of men and about a third of all women in America had fantasized about cuckolding. That’s a lot of you reading this right now who have fantasies that include cuckolding! Why is that? What exactly is the appeal of cuckolding for so many couples? I’m not an expert or a scholar but over the years I have developed a few hunches as to what may explain the fascination with this taboo relationship dynamic.
For women perhaps it’s the idea of having your cake and eating it too. A loving cuckolding relationship means you get all of the benefits of a loving and supportive husband but you also get to explore new sexual experiences with other partners, all while involving your husband in some way (him watching, listening, or hearing about it later). The part worth celebrating the most however, is how all of that results in a huge boost of sexual confidence for her – knowing other men find her sexy, flirting and enjoying that sexual energy, and enjoying the fact that she gets to have these experiences while her husband prefers to stay monogamous to her. It’s about her and they both love it that way.
For men though….why would they want to have an adulterous wife? What would be in it for him? It turns out, a lot.
Recently I interviewed Dr. David Ley on The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast to talk about the shame that often accompanies these fantasies that men have about cuckolding. Interestingly he mentioned a study he did with Dan Savage and Dr. Justin Lehmiller where they received data from PornHub and Google Trends about the rising popularity of the cuckolding fantasy. That data revealed that searches for cuckolding were higher in countries with more traditional ideas about masculinity (where men are expected to be macho). He explained that the messages men receive from society (about how a real man’s wife would never cheat on him) actually amplify the appeal of cuckolding because it makes it more “naughty”. It’s that taboo nature of it that makes it so exciting; you desire what you aren’t supposed to want and the more you fight those cuckolding desires the more you end up wanting it.
That same study was also referenced in a CNN article that talked about how couples who act on cuckolding fantasies together often find it to be a positive experience for them. This echoes what more and more voices are saying in the cuckolding lifestyle through blogs and podcasts, that cuckolding relationships built on trust, love, and communication, can bring next level connection and lifelong thrilling adventures. There are so many benefits!
It’s not just the taboo nature of it that lures men in though, there are actually biochemical responses that happen when a man thinks about his wife fucking another man. This was explained by a physician friend of mine in a recent post he wrote for the Venus Cuckoldress Blog. He was highlighting the health benefits of cuckolding and explained that when a man thinks of his wife with another man, his testosterone, oxytocin, and serotonin increases. His drive is higher because he is competing for his wife. Who knew right? But what’s really fascinating to me is that within cuckolding specifically, this rise in testosterone is even higher! Now that might explain why so many men report the most powerful and intense orgasms when thinking about cuckolding fantasies.
Despite all of the research studies and expert assessments though there’ve been other indicators that cuckolding has been growing substantially in popularity since I started in this lifestyle 6 years ago. For nearly all of the guest appearances I’ve made on podcasts over that time span, I have often received a message from the hosts afterwards saying my episode was their most downloaded episode to date. Combine that feedback with both my blog tipping over one million views and my podcast trending in the top 1.5% stats worldwide, and really it’s undeniable – cuckolding relationships have a massive global appeal. And that’s great because as long as people are able to learn and understand the real beauty and complexities of this kind of relationship, more and more people will have the opportunity to try it for themselves.
Cuckolding is love.